So no-one told you life was gonna be this way

Generally, people take stock of friendships when they are confronted with hardship; the understanding is that this is when you find your true friends. This however is not the case with cancer; the word comes with so much baggage that people are at a loss on how to approach it. My friend and gym buddy J admitted that I didn't hear from her for a week or so after my initial email message informing her of the diagnosis simply because she needed time to process the news; and also, she didn't know what to say. I know where she's coming from as I most probably would've done the same in her case.

However, there are friends who have disappeared; and much as I have tried my very best not to take it against them, I cannot help but feel hurt. I'm certainly not expecting daily telephone calls nor email messages, but a little message of support is always uplifting, especially from someone who has been considered close to the heart.

I hope that these disappearances are temporary and once I've received the all-clear they will come back into my life again. However, if for whatever reason they decide that our friendship was not worth it then I will move on. Although cancer should not be a test for friendship, it has strengthened a lot of my relationships: friends who were close before are even closer now, and some acquaintances have developed into firm and beautiful friendships.

Family and Friends

Although we had been told that it could be cancer on Wednesday evening, it wasn't until Saturday morning that we received the proper diagnosis. By Saturday afternoon, I had told family and friends. A girlfriend, who had been diagnosed with cancer the year previous, could not understand my desire to tell everyone. To be completely honest, I'm not sure either. But I'm a person who wears her heart on her sleeve; I was upset and I knew that I would receive comfort from family and friends. And this has been the case, most definitely.

Reading messages of love and support from friends and family has made the news slightly easier to bear. They were sad with me when they heard of the diagnosis, and rejoiced when the CT scan was clear. (Amazing how the bar changes - on Saturday I was devastated to learn I had breast cancer, and yesterday I was overjoyed to learn it was JUST breast cancer.) And I know that they will continue to be there for me as I embark on this arduous process of getting rid of this evil crab.