Thursday, 2 February 2012


Tomorrow is the last day of my radiotherapy, and the last day of my treatment. And I suddenly find that I'm not in a very good place right now... In fact, I think I'm about have a massive panic attack. At this point, I would like the treatments to go on and on - yes, even FEC chemotherapy - just to make sure that the cancer does not come back.

I think I'm going to throw up.


  1. Positive thoughts, Chinot! Everything will be okay. Breathe deeply and smile! God bless you, dear! *hugs*

  2. You ARE in a good place. Your body is in a GREAT place. You have beaten cancer. You are cancer free. What you are now doing is grieving. Grieving for the you that was taken when you had to become someone different to fight cancer. My god lovely friend you have been a warrior. And you have carried people with you. Now it is ok to let your armour down. Go on. Look over the edge and find that life is there waiting for you and waiting for you knowing what you have been through. This will not define you but it is part of who you are now for better or worse. Just take the leap now and know that all of us who have been there in the background will catch you and carry you onto the rest of your life. It's where we all are. None of us have any guarantees. Just love xx

  3. You ARE in a good place. You are cancer free. You have beaten cancer. Really. You have. What you are now doing is grieving for the you before cancer for the you that did not have to have cancer on the radar. We are all in the same place as you. Who the heck knows what goes wrong next. But let's all just enjoy what is going right. The treatment regime has been a way to put one foot in front of the next and keep going. Of course it's now scary not to have that security. But your wings are just a bit damp. They will cope and theyn will take you to all the places you would ever want to be. Fly Chinot. It's yout time. It's your life xxxx

  4. Hi Chinot. Be strong as you have been all this time. With the love, support and prayers of your family and friends, I'm confident as I'm sure everyone is, that you'll get rid of this evil crab once and for all. And you've gone through all the stages. (As a crazy friend of mine, one of many, cracked "Remember, wherever you are, you are there").
    I was at one of my fave watering holes last night, Stonehouse and Osang Obillos and her partner, Noe, joined me. They had just come from Osang's regular Thursday chemo session at St. Luke's Hospital. Osang said she draws strength and inspiration from your blogs. Told her she looks good with her bandanna but she said she'll soon do a Chinot and got out in public without it.
    Love you sweetie. Cheers!