I remember very well the day that I received the telephone call from hospital, asking me to go back because there had been a shadow in my mammogram result. It was a Thursday and I was just on my way out to pick up the children from school. I cried most of the way there as I was terribly frightened; I only composed myself once I was on the school road.
The next few weeks were no better as I vacillated from one emotion to the other - from incredulity, self-pity, anger and extreme sadness. I couldn't shake the idea of death; I thought of my children, my husband and the family and friends I would leave behind. Things however changed as soon as my treatment began - I knew that I was on the road to wellness and although I would have a few months having to deal with the unfortunate side-effects of chemotherapy and surgery, there was a deadline to it and by Christmas I would be a picture of health.
Last Sunday, my blog was featured on the front page of one of the Philippines' top broadsheet newspapers. As a consequence, I have received messages from friends, acquaintances and even strangers all wishing me well. However, I have found that some of the messages have saddened me - although they have been sent with the best intentions, some of them have had a tinge of fatalism, as if I have been given the death sentence with my cancer diagnosis. So I have found myself, once again, thinking of death. Or the possibility of this treatment not working.
This has freaked me out - I had reached the point wherein I thought of my cancer as a temporary affliction that will be cured. The thought of the chemotherapy not working, or the possibility of a recurrence had not crossed my mind since I started treatment in May. I need, desperately, to get out of this mindset - as I believe that a positive attitude is one thing that will most definitely get me through this (hopefully) temporary nightmare.
Be strong, Chinot - there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Keep on focussing on getting well again. Eat well, look forward, you ARE getting there! You are so very much in my thoughts, and I just know that you will get there. Strength to you!Love, Jxx
ReplyDeleteI was speaking to an old friend at a hen night at the weekend who has been through what you're going through now. She looks fantastic and is really well. Everything is now clear. She is full of so many positives. So stay focused and remain positive and you too will look back and be able to put this chapter behind you. Just like she has done. M x
ReplyDeleteI have a documentary video regarding cancer cure by Dr. Bruzynski in Texas. You might be interested in it. I can send the video by email.
ReplyDeleteLikewise, there is a new technology on bio-scalar that has proven to be effective to help cure specific diseases like cancer. The inventor, Dr. Sandra Michaels will be here in Manila last week of this month to conduct awareness to this new kind of technology. You might also be interested in attending.
Hun, you keep being the strong positive bubble of energy you always are. Ignore the negative folk - you are going to come out of this smiling - a temporary blip. Big smiles and hugs and I'll see you tomorrow. PS: Well done being on a national newspaper - so you should be as your blog is fab! F x
ReplyDeleteHi Chinot,remember me from SPC, Pasig Batch'79? Maria Estrella Dela Cruz? Anyway, I'm
ReplyDeletesorry to hear about your illness. I hope what I'm going to say will comfort you and help you find the cure. So please don't lose hope and I will be praying for you too. I know how hard it is for you to accept this illness so if you would like, I would like to share with you First Vita Plus Guyabano Juice which is known to kill cancer cells and sources say it was in the 1940's when they discovered this. They just had to keep it from being discovered when the chemotherapeutic drugs boomed in business because they would not earn anything from the Guyabano Fruit(Graviola Tree) compared to chemotherapy which was #2 in business around the world. And its only now they have brought out this discovery maybe because of the hard times.Though I lost my 8 year old son Dave to leukemia last April 7,2011 I still believe First Vita Plus Guyabano Juice was a big help. Dave already had leukemia for 2 years when First Vita Plus was introduced to us. Though maybe it was a little too late then, it still helped extend his life for another 2 years. And it made him even stronger than his siblings, cousins and classmates against the common cold and chicken pox. And despite the bad effects of chemotherapy, his color remained good. Meaning, his skin color was not yellow or dark like most patients. He had red lips, his appetite was good and he remained active and alert for one and a half years after chemotherapy. Last February 2011 when he started having pains on his extremities and his right arm got paralyzed for 10 days, he was able to move it again after consuming only 1 box and a half of the Guyabano Juice drink when this was his only maintenance and a probiotic. If you're interested to know more about this you can call/text me at 09339235684 or 09162192240. I'd be more than happy to share this with you.
Hi, I opened up the local news portal today and saw a picture of a smiling beautiful lady and was saddened when I read about the challenge she's currently facing. Anyway, I just dropped by here in your blog to tell you that keep being positive (with all that love you have from family and friends its actually not hard to), do not lose hope and whatever happens, be assured that God will take care of you. I am actually envious by the support and love you have received/ is receiving. Many people went through life without ever knowing that they are loved, without experiencing the joys of having family and friends by their side. Again, just keep being positive, be happy, love and pray.
ReplyDelete- Juan from da pilipins
Chinot, there will be good days and there will be bad days but the thing is to take it a day at a time. With or without the evil crab, death is a fact of life, but why focus on death when we can focus on living. You continue to be an inspiration to me, and I know you are strong. You have a whole army of friends, family and even strangers praying for you. Remember, a day at a time..
ReplyDeleteOh how deep!
ReplyDeleteThis is a massive pain in the arse, sure - but death was never even in the picture!
Kick those evil thoughts from your brain, girl!!!
Prayers for you & your family. As I recall, even in grade school you were a strong person. Chin up dear, you will do just fine. This is just another bump in the road of life. I know such evil thoughts are probably normal in your situation, but always remember these thoughts only stay in your mind if you keep them there. Here's to a great recovery Chinot---- Peachy Majaba- Robinson
ReplyDeleteYou will live to be a be-turbanned old crone in your 80's or 90's! Might even get a mole or two on your nose, and you'll perfect a cackle just to freak out your grandchildren's children.
ReplyDeleteI am sure each and every one of the well wishes was sent with the best intentions. It's just some people are a bit more awkward at these things than others! Like being pregnant and people feeling the need to share how their lower regions were ripped apart and never the same after the birth...You get the picture! And anyway, you're statistically more likely to have a car crash on the way to the Chemo than you are to die from cancer, so I really wouldn't worry!!!! (ha ha) See you shortly when I can cheer you up with my researched current top 10 most popular ways to pass away! Lx
ReplyDeleteWith all your prayer warriors and positive attitude, you will beat this evil crab!!! Y
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