Thursday, 21 July 2011

Head Aches

I am so fed up with walking with a scarf/turban all day long that today, I actually considered shaving all of my hair off and doing a Sinead O'Connor. However, upon closer inspection of my scalp, I realised that it's not the prettiest thing and is really best kept under wraps. First of all, it's a very pale shade compared to my face as it's been covered by hair all these years. Second, I have discovered that I have moles on my scalp. And third, I have a very disturbing dent on my head.

I actually discovered this dent a few years ago, when the twins were newly born. And it did induce some sort of panic so I called NHS Direct and told them my problem.

Me: I have a dent on my head.
Nurse: Okaaaaay, have you been hit by a blunt instrument lately?
Me: No, I woke up this morning and there it was.

The lady said she would call me back. She didn't of course, and who can blame her - she probably thought I was mad. But rather than be discouraged by this, I called my local GP and made an appointment to see him. On the day, I told him I was worried about this dent on my head. Credit to the poor man - he didn't laugh his head off and actually checked my scalp. He then reassured me that I'd probably been born with the dent. (The dent actually does exist, and it isn't just a figment of my imagination.)

I can only plead some form of postpartum insanity - the twins were less than a year old at this time. What I still fail to understand is why LH did not stop me from harassing NHS Direct and our local GP. When I questioned him about it he said I was absolutely determined and nothing would've stopped me. Oh well... I can only comfort myself with the fact that I may have at least given the nurses and doctor some amusement to tide over the tedium of their day. It wouldn't surprise me if they're still laughing about it now...


  1. For the record, I tried vigorously to persuade you against calling both NHS Direct and subsequently the GP, but, as others will testify, it is easier and less painful to pluck the hairs from the scrotum of a fighting bull than it is to divert you from a course of action that you have your mind set on.

    My only surprise was that the children were not taken into custody and I was not held at Her Majesty's pleasure on charges of spousal abuse. No doubt there is a tape somewhere of that phone call and it will surface when I am running for office. Oh well, it will have been worth all the laughter it generated.

  2. Hahahahahaahahahahaahahaha

  3. Actually Chinot I bet that you have made it into several medical after dinner speeches, or at least graduation prize day......a bit like those stories Mr Taylor puts in his speech....every year....about funny exam answers :-)!

    You are a total scream, never change good friend
    Judy xxx