Friday will be the last day of my radiotherapy. Starting tomorrow and till Friday I will be receiving a boost in radiation levels to make sure that all the cancer is gone. Who knows? I may glow in the dark by Friday night. I should be excited - with the end of it, not from the glowing - but just like my experience with chemotherapy, I am more nervous. This is it; apart from my Tamoxifen and regular mammograms, I'm done. The doctors and the medication have done their job and the cancer is gone. (I know the right term is 'remission' but I feel that word simply means that it's dormant - and could come back at any time. I'd like to think that it's gone FOREVER.)
I am so happy knowing that the radiotherapy is nearly over: the daily half-hour drive to hospital, the indignity of lying half-naked on a very uncomfortable table whilst the nurses poke and prod with their desperately cold fingers has not been my idea of fun and I have sadly failed to find much humour in it. (The nurses scurrying out of the room though once the radiation starts always makes me want to laugh out loud but I stop myself in case I move myself from the right position.) I am nervous though - again - because this is it. I feel that it's all up to me now to take care of myself to make sure that this evil crab will never, ever come back. But what can I really do? Without knowing what caused it in the first place, how in the world can I stop it from coming back?