Wednesday, 22 June 2011

What's normal?

From the onset of my diagnosis, I told myself that I would try and keep things as normal for the children. And so far, I think I've succeeded. They've seen me stuck in bed a few days after treatments, but as I'm back on my feet soon after, screaming at them like a banshee to pick their stuff off the floor (admit it, all us mothers do), the T household has stayed mainly the same. And I suppose it's helped that I have not let them see my bald patches - I think it would terrorise them too much and may possibly give them nightmares.

However, I find myself in a bit of a dilemma now. With this stupid fatigue, I find that I cannot do the most menial of tasks and will need to rely on my children much more. I found myself getting really cross with them yesterday when they would not listen to me - don't they understand that I'm ill???

According to weird Uncle M (who's very sweetly come from Scotland to manny for the moment as LH is in Sweden) I'm giving the children mixed signals - I want them to go on as normal, yet I want them to understand that I'm ill. I suppose it's true - but isn't there a balance? I'd like their lives to proceed as usual, but possibly with a little more responsibility and empathy, with the realisation that their mother is not in peak health at the moment.

So, we've had words. I've spoken to the children, explained that I need their help all the more as the chemotherapy is finally taking its toll on me. They seem to have understood; so I'm keeping my head under wraps for the moment. No nightmares of mad friars attacking in the night then...

1 comment:

  1. I think you underestimate them. They would cope FINE with your bald patches cause you are still gorgeous on the inside (and actually irritatingly on the outside too despite entire body baldness!!) But most of all you're just their Mum and they would hardly even notice it after they first saw it. (I think my kids have a much worse deal with me without makeup every morning!) BUT if you don't want them to see it then that's different and if it makes you more content then fine.
    And as for mixed signals are there any other kind?!? I've never been great at consistency!

    I see you've now adopted another Disney character The Mad Friar from Robin Hood. Seriously with your current repertoire the West End is calling! (when you've stopped napping!)
    Take care Mrs LL.
    Hugs Lx