Last week my sister T arrived from Manila with her husband, her adorable 3-year old twin girls and a nanny in tow. Admittedly I did have worries about how she would cope whilst she was here (she has a nanny for each daughter, not to mention a live-in cook and a housekeeper) but my fears were unfounded. T has been extremely helpful to the point that I feel she's hounding me. Every time I make a move to do anything, she's at my back asking me what I need and telling me to sit down. And T has bravely taken over the task of injecting me with Neulasta today (ewww). More importantly, she and I have been able to talk only as sisters can, with complete candour and honesty. And she has also made me laugh a lot.
And last week when I was pushing myself to the limit, she imparted words of wisdom that made so much sense. (LH said afterwards that he wishes he'd thought of it himself...) She told me that friends and family know that I'm going through difficulty with the cancer diagnosis and the chemotherapy, so I don't need to prove anything at all to them. They all accept that I am tired, and possibly weaker, than my normal self so there are a lot of things that I am unable to do. However (this was the clincher), I need to find acceptance in myself. I need to accept that I am ill, and thus weaker and cannot push myself to the limit as this will just lead to frustration.
Admittedly, I am finding it terribly difficult to just lie down and rest; but I'm learning, and I'm getting there. With sister T watching my back, I have no choice!
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